Author's Note

When I was around 11 I started looking at myself, and rejecting what I knew. I started believing my perfectly normal body shape was fat. I always was a chubby youngster, and those comments I got from family as I finally started to grow out of my baby fat, like 'Look how much weight you lost!" and "Wow, Tulah, you are looking great!" had gotten to me, turned around in my mind. I became obsessed with food labels, exercise, and calculating how much food I 'deserved' in a day.

Anorexia, I believe, is not only a disease where your body gets malnourished. Anorexia is when your mind gets malnourished, too. Instead of food, we feed our mind insults and constant work to simply not hate yourself. About 1 in 200 Americans will develop anorexia at some point in their life (Harvard Mental Health Letter, Feb 2003 edition, pp. 1-4). It can start from a diet, having a need for peer’s approval, or our minds becoming ‘a lot less smart about ourselves’ (Psychology Today, The Skinny Sweepstakes, SKS.SIRS.com). Anorexia not only makes us thin, but it can cause major detriments to our social life and health beyond weight. Anorexia can cause heart failure, liver disorders, and possibly swollen joints. People suffering from Anorexia Nervosa are often ‘shy, neat, quiet, conscientious, and hyper sensitive to rejection’ (Anorexia Nervosa part 1). Anorexia patients push people away, not accepting their help because they ‘deny that anything is wrong’ (Harvard Mental Health Letter, Feb 2003 edition, pp. 1-4).

I am not anorexic, but I know what it feels like to think that I am never good enough for everyone around me, including myself. This story came out of my feeling for wanting to share what it feels like to be alone and lost, which almost everyone feels at some point, and how we simply need to be strong and stay true to ourselves. We are all beautiful, truly no matter what size or shape.

Works Cited
- Marano, Hara Estroff. "The Skinny Sweepstakes." Psychology Today Vol. 41, No. 1. Jan./Feb. 2008: 88-95. SIRS Researcher. Web. 12 Dec 2010.
- Unknown. "Anorexia Nervosa--Part I." Harvard Mental Health Letter. Feb. 2003: 1-4. SIRS Researcher. Web. 12 Dec 2010.