pg.1: I woke up today not feeling like myself. I reached up to pat my head, thinking that maybe my favorite pink bow had fallen off while I was sleeping...it was still there.
pg.2: I pushed my covers down, stepped out of bed, and walked toward my mirror. I gasped. I was a green, hairy, slimy, fat, gross monster! I touched my hair and felt worms. I poked my stomach, and green slime oozed on my finger. I opened my mouth, and out came bug juice. “AHHHHH!”
pg.3: When my friends came over, like they usually do on Saturdays, they rang the doorbell and I peeked out of the mail slot. Ava and Julie looked down and smiled at me. I opened the door, and then after they were inside slammed it shut. Luckily, no-one but Ava and Julie were outside to see me. “What’s wrong?” Ava asked. I shushed them and pulled them up the stairs to my room.
pg.4: “I woke up today,” I gulped, “A MONSTER!” They looked at each other, then replied “No silly! You’re not a monster! You’re pretty! Now can we go back outside to play house? You can be the mommy this time!” “Are you crazy! I can’t go outside looking like this! I am ugly and fat and green and slimy! Can’t you see?” “What are you talking about? You look completely normal!”
pg.5: After Ava and Julie left early, since they were bored with me stuck inside, my mom asked if I wanted to go out for pizza, or maybe ice-cream. Yikes! I thought. I can’t have all my friends seeing me like this! They will laugh at me! “No thanks mommy. Let’s just stay home tonight.”
pg.6: On Sunday, instead of playing with my friends like I usually do on Sundays, I was sitting on my couch, waiting for them. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting. They never came!
pg.7: I was looking out the window when I saw Ava and Julie walking straight towards my house, ice-creams in hand, laughing in the sun. Finally! But then...they walked past my door to go a few houses down to Julie’s house. I jumped up and through the mail slot called out to them. “Guys! Why didn’t you come over?” “Um, well, yesterday all you did was sulk around your room. Today we kind of wanted to go outside to have fun! You aren’t a monster, and we don’t know how many more times we have to say it!” Then they walked away. Tears started coming to my eyes, and my face grew hot and red.
pg.8: I stormed back up to my room to the mirror. “HEY! Everyone says I look normal, so they must be right! Stop lying to me about who I am! I am not a monster! I know if I went outside, no-one would look at me strange. Go away!”
pg.9: And just like that, the monster slowly became me again.
MAYBE: pg.10: When I woke up the next day, feeling totally normal, bow still on my head, I walked towards my mirror. There was a girl standing there, with plain black hair, pale skin, and only a tongue in her mouth. (OR just show image)
pg.10 (IMAGE):- Annie’s back (mostly dominant part of page), then front in mirror (smiling) and have room colorful and happy, with girl with messy black hair, petite, skirt, etc with a pink bow on her head
pg.11: It was me OR/AND I was back
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Author's Note
When I was around 11 I started looking at myself, and rejecting what I knew. I started believing my perfectly normal body shape was fat. I always was a chubby youngster, and those comments I got from family as I finally started to grow out of my baby fat, like 'Look how much weight you lost!" and "Wow, Tulah, you are looking great!" had gotten to me, turned around in my mind. I became obsessed with food labels, exercise, and calculating how much food I 'deserved' in a day.
Anorexia, I believe, is not only a disease where your body gets malnourished. Anorexia is when your mind gets malnourished, too. Instead of food, we feed our mind insults and constant work to simply not hate yourself. About 1 in 200 Americans will develop anorexia at some point in their life (Harvard Mental Health Letter, Feb 2003 edition, pp. 1-4). It can start from a diet, having a need for peer’s approval, or our minds becoming ‘a lot less smart about ourselves’ (Psychology Today, The Skinny Sweepstakes, SKS.SIRS.com). Anorexia not only makes us thin, but it can cause major detriments to our social life and health beyond weight. Anorexia can cause heart failure, liver disorders, and possibly swollen joints. People suffering from Anorexia Nervosa are often ‘shy, neat, quiet, conscientious, and hyper sensitive to rejection’ (Anorexia Nervosa part 1). Anorexia patients push people away, not accepting their help because they ‘deny that anything is wrong’ (Harvard Mental Health Letter, Feb 2003 edition, pp. 1-4).
I am not anorexic, but I know what it feels like to think that I am never good enough for everyone around me, including myself. This story came out of my feeling for wanting to share what it feels like to be alone and lost, which almost everyone feels at some point, and how we simply need to be strong and stay true to ourselves. We are all beautiful, truly no matter what size or shape.
Works Cited
- Marano, Hara Estroff. "The Skinny Sweepstakes." Psychology Today Vol. 41, No. 1. Jan./Feb. 2008: 88-95. SIRS Researcher. Web. 12 Dec 2010.
- Unknown. "Anorexia Nervosa--Part I." Harvard Mental Health Letter. Feb. 2003: 1-4. SIRS Researcher. Web. 12 Dec 2010.
Anorexia, I believe, is not only a disease where your body gets malnourished. Anorexia is when your mind gets malnourished, too. Instead of food, we feed our mind insults and constant work to simply not hate yourself. About 1 in 200 Americans will develop anorexia at some point in their life (Harvard Mental Health Letter, Feb 2003 edition, pp. 1-4). It can start from a diet, having a need for peer’s approval, or our minds becoming ‘a lot less smart about ourselves’ (Psychology Today, The Skinny Sweepstakes, SKS.SIRS.com). Anorexia not only makes us thin, but it can cause major detriments to our social life and health beyond weight. Anorexia can cause heart failure, liver disorders, and possibly swollen joints. People suffering from Anorexia Nervosa are often ‘shy, neat, quiet, conscientious, and hyper sensitive to rejection’ (Anorexia Nervosa part 1). Anorexia patients push people away, not accepting their help because they ‘deny that anything is wrong’ (Harvard Mental Health Letter, Feb 2003 edition, pp. 1-4).
I am not anorexic, but I know what it feels like to think that I am never good enough for everyone around me, including myself. This story came out of my feeling for wanting to share what it feels like to be alone and lost, which almost everyone feels at some point, and how we simply need to be strong and stay true to ourselves. We are all beautiful, truly no matter what size or shape.
Works Cited
- Marano, Hara Estroff. "The Skinny Sweepstakes." Psychology Today Vol. 41, No. 1. Jan./Feb. 2008: 88-95. SIRS Researcher. Web. 12 Dec 2010.
- Unknown. "Anorexia Nervosa--Part I." Harvard Mental Health Letter. Feb. 2003: 1-4. SIRS Researcher. Web. 12 Dec 2010.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
November Reading Challenge
Books Read
- Sarah's Key by: Tatiana de Rosnay 290 pages
- Chains by Laurie Halse Anderson 314 pages
--in total 2 books over 600 pages--
Sarah's Key Response
In Sarah’s Key, a huge and controversial issue was moving on; how we do it and if we can. Julia, a 45 year-old American married to a french man, thinks her husband’s particularly calm attitude toward ‘France’s Dark Days’ (the holocaust) is disgusting. She hates how the french-attitude is to move on past the war, and do little to keep the memory as a lesson.
I feel that it is necessary to move on. By that I don’t mean forgetting the past which has lessons of mistakes to never repeat in the future, but we can’t mourn for life! Life is about progression in my eyes. I don’t think it is right for anyone (much less Sarah) to wrong people because they are more interested in the future. Life keeps going, and we can’t stop because then we will never catch up, right? I mean, I know that is intense, but I think it’s true! Can we ever stop going?
I have no idea! Part of what makes me who I am is that I move-on quickly, and always feel like I need to be on the run, or else I feel like a failure. This causes a lot of stress and doubts. In a way, I feel like the world around me made me think that way. The media puts out the message that if you aren’t doing something to save some aspect of our world, you are useless. I know it’s important to ‘do something’, but I feel if we truly are meant to help the world, it shouldn’t be so forcefully pushed on us. I guess we all need the motivation, but people can’t handle all this pressure. We need to go at our own pace to be successful, I think.
Does this mean we can’t get any outside pushes? No, I don’t think so. As I frequently say, we need to accept help, including motivational get-off-your-ass help, but too much is never good. For people to look back and remember the past I guess is okay, but some may criticize and say move-on, which to some people (like Sarah) is offensive. It is true that we all go at our own paces, but there is some limit to how much you should stop and go. We can’t be bums all our life, but nobody but our own self is going to make a bum not a bum. We are who we are, and if it takes us a little or long time to move-on it’s okay, but while this ‘break/mourn’ time, we can’t just stop completely. Sure you can remember the good ‘ol days, but you still need to live your new, present days.
(did my weird code (sort-of) talk confusing you)?
Chains Response
The book Chains is about a girl, set during the Revolutionary War, working as a slave in NY to a loyalist family. Her owners, the Locktons, are cold-hearted, but Mr. Lockton’s aunt named Ms. Seymour takes pity on the girl (Isabel) and even tries to buy Isabel from the Locktons. Sadly, Mrs. Lockton wouldn’t sell Isabel out of the evil of her heart. Mrs. Lockton is so cruel, and throughout the book it seems like she knows (and is ok) with that. For example, when she secretly sells Isabel’s sister Ruth, Isabel’s only love and family left, she lies to Isabel about it, and then when Isabel finally finds out the truth, Mrs. Lockton cowers and puts the blame on Isabel, in fear that she will get angry and hurt her.
How could you live with being so mean? I know it was very common to have slaves in that time, even though it is such a corrupt system, but there is a difference between getting free labor and being cruel! It seems like no-one cared, and the ones that did were too weak to stand up for what they believed in. I just don’t understand how you could treat anyone, even an animal (as some people portrayed Africans as), with such torture. Everyone has a heart, and know what pain feels like, so why would you want to inflict it on someone else? To take out your anger, without being publicly portrayed as awful?
It is so pathetic that to get over our own anger, we need to harm and anger something else. When we do that, we are being completely selfish, even when ‘punching a pillow’ because that reminds us that pain can be solved with pain. It’s like a vicious cycle! Yes, life isn’t fair and pain means character, but isn’t there some sort of obvious limit to that? Has man-kind not made that limit, and so no-one consciously cares?
I suppose the only reason why people treat pain with pain is because it truly does satisfy your feelings, which I guess in the long run is good because then we get those angry feelings out. But what I said was true: pain is a cycle! To deal with pain, we inflict pain. How can we stop this? Slavery in America doesn’t exist anymore, but in many other countries it does! At the end of the day, we worry more about ourselves. Is that selfish, or simply smart? I’m sure that in times of need it is ok to want to get your own food before helping out a friend, but I believe karma does exist, meaning if you don’t help, no-one will help you. We can’t survive all alone in this world, and yet that is how the slaves lived. I understand wanting free labor, but Mrs.Lockton completely abused the system, wether slavery was normal in that time or not. I am a carnivore, but I try to buy free-range (or un-caged) chickens, which is a step toward breaking the cycle of cruel pain!
- Sarah's Key by: Tatiana de Rosnay 290 pages
- Chains by Laurie Halse Anderson 314 pages
--in total 2 books over 600 pages--
Sarah's Key Response
In Sarah’s Key, a huge and controversial issue was moving on; how we do it and if we can. Julia, a 45 year-old American married to a french man, thinks her husband’s particularly calm attitude toward ‘France’s Dark Days’ (the holocaust) is disgusting. She hates how the french-attitude is to move on past the war, and do little to keep the memory as a lesson.
I feel that it is necessary to move on. By that I don’t mean forgetting the past which has lessons of mistakes to never repeat in the future, but we can’t mourn for life! Life is about progression in my eyes. I don’t think it is right for anyone (much less Sarah) to wrong people because they are more interested in the future. Life keeps going, and we can’t stop because then we will never catch up, right? I mean, I know that is intense, but I think it’s true! Can we ever stop going?
I have no idea! Part of what makes me who I am is that I move-on quickly, and always feel like I need to be on the run, or else I feel like a failure. This causes a lot of stress and doubts. In a way, I feel like the world around me made me think that way. The media puts out the message that if you aren’t doing something to save some aspect of our world, you are useless. I know it’s important to ‘do something’, but I feel if we truly are meant to help the world, it shouldn’t be so forcefully pushed on us. I guess we all need the motivation, but people can’t handle all this pressure. We need to go at our own pace to be successful, I think.
Does this mean we can’t get any outside pushes? No, I don’t think so. As I frequently say, we need to accept help, including motivational get-off-your-ass help, but too much is never good. For people to look back and remember the past I guess is okay, but some may criticize and say move-on, which to some people (like Sarah) is offensive. It is true that we all go at our own paces, but there is some limit to how much you should stop and go. We can’t be bums all our life, but nobody but our own self is going to make a bum not a bum. We are who we are, and if it takes us a little or long time to move-on it’s okay, but while this ‘break/mourn’ time, we can’t just stop completely. Sure you can remember the good ‘ol days, but you still need to live your new, present days.
(did my weird code (sort-of) talk confusing you)?
Chains Response
The book Chains is about a girl, set during the Revolutionary War, working as a slave in NY to a loyalist family. Her owners, the Locktons, are cold-hearted, but Mr. Lockton’s aunt named Ms. Seymour takes pity on the girl (Isabel) and even tries to buy Isabel from the Locktons. Sadly, Mrs. Lockton wouldn’t sell Isabel out of the evil of her heart. Mrs. Lockton is so cruel, and throughout the book it seems like she knows (and is ok) with that. For example, when she secretly sells Isabel’s sister Ruth, Isabel’s only love and family left, she lies to Isabel about it, and then when Isabel finally finds out the truth, Mrs. Lockton cowers and puts the blame on Isabel, in fear that she will get angry and hurt her.
How could you live with being so mean? I know it was very common to have slaves in that time, even though it is such a corrupt system, but there is a difference between getting free labor and being cruel! It seems like no-one cared, and the ones that did were too weak to stand up for what they believed in. I just don’t understand how you could treat anyone, even an animal (as some people portrayed Africans as), with such torture. Everyone has a heart, and know what pain feels like, so why would you want to inflict it on someone else? To take out your anger, without being publicly portrayed as awful?
It is so pathetic that to get over our own anger, we need to harm and anger something else. When we do that, we are being completely selfish, even when ‘punching a pillow’ because that reminds us that pain can be solved with pain. It’s like a vicious cycle! Yes, life isn’t fair and pain means character, but isn’t there some sort of obvious limit to that? Has man-kind not made that limit, and so no-one consciously cares?
I suppose the only reason why people treat pain with pain is because it truly does satisfy your feelings, which I guess in the long run is good because then we get those angry feelings out. But what I said was true: pain is a cycle! To deal with pain, we inflict pain. How can we stop this? Slavery in America doesn’t exist anymore, but in many other countries it does! At the end of the day, we worry more about ourselves. Is that selfish, or simply smart? I’m sure that in times of need it is ok to want to get your own food before helping out a friend, but I believe karma does exist, meaning if you don’t help, no-one will help you. We can’t survive all alone in this world, and yet that is how the slaves lived. I understand wanting free labor, but Mrs.Lockton completely abused the system, wether slavery was normal in that time or not. I am a carnivore, but I try to buy free-range (or un-caged) chickens, which is a step toward breaking the cycle of cruel pain!
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